Asking who’s the “man” and who’s the “woman” in a gay relationship is like going to a Chinese restaurant and asking which chopstick is the fork.
This is the best analogy in life.
Zombie apocalypse coming soon
5/16: McArthur High School HazMat Situation
Students, Teachers Decontaminated After Breaking Out In Rash
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/16/mcarthur-high-school-contamination_n_1521764.html
5/19: No confirmation on chemical at Fort Lauderdale International Airport
http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/terminal-2-evacuated-at-fort-lauderdale-airport-in-hazmat-scare
5/21: Police: Man bites woman in Westchester http://www.mysuburbanlife.com/westchester/newsnow/x639948018/Police-Man-bites-woman-in-Westchester
5/23: I-285 reopens after hazmat incident
http://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html
5/23: Man Bites Cousin’s Nose Off
http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Man-Bites-Cousins-Nose-Off-153100125.html
5/24: Second Broward school reports mystery rash http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/24/2815003/second-broward-school-reports.html
5/25: Hazmat Called After Kids Exposed To Pesticide On Bus: Hazmat, EMS Respond To Lake County, FL School
http://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html
5/25: ‘Disoriented’ passenger subdued on flight in Miami http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/25/passenger-restrained-on-flight-to-miami-arrested/
5/26: Naked Man Allegedly Eating Victim’s Face Shot And Killed By Miami Police
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/26/naked-man-eating-victims-face-killed-miami_n_1548359.html
5/26: Florida Doctor Spits Blood at Highway Patrolmen After DUI Arrest http://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-doctor-spits-blood-troopers-face-dui-arrest/story?id=16436402
All in same week and same state…. may God be with you Florida.
prepare yo’ selves
the common sense guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse:
So, in the wake of reading this terrifying shit, Postcard and I started chatting, as you do, about the zombie apocalypse. Here are some things Postcard and I enjoy: zombie media, common sense, and YELLING ABOUT STUFF. Thus, for your reading pleasure, please enjoy our simple twenty-step guide to NOT DYING in the unlikely event that a zombie apocalypse ravages humanity:
- IN THE EVENT OF AN ACTUAL APOCALYPTIC SITUATION, ASSUME THAT THE FOLLOWING THINGS ARE GOING TO STOP WORKING: running water (this includes toilets); anything that relies on electricity (this includes gas pumps); anything that relies on natural gas lines (this includes gas stoves/central heat); basically, anything that relies on there being a factory of some variety at the other end of thing you want to make do stuff. THAT’S ALL GONNA BREAK. THIS INCLUDES THE INTERNET. Thus, the most important thing to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse is:
- RESEARCH. For as long as you possess the internet, do everything you can to learn as much as possible. Research edible/medicinal plants (or seriously, go into a bookstore and loot your shit a guidebook, they’re not large, they sell little tiny ones, you can put it in your pocket, WHY DOES EVERYONE IN EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE NOT DO THIS). Research, from available information, how the zombies work/which of their senses are functional—for example, if they operate largely by smell, you want to work on smelling not alive. If they operate largely by sight, DON’T LIGHT FIRES AT NIGHT. And speaking of fires…
May 29th
23:32
23:32
Moose calves are so awkward looking. I mean look at that giant head. How does those skinny legs keep that giant head up?
18:40
You can literally see the limits of my skills, patience and fucks I give
![thedailywhat:
In Case You Missed It of the Day: An unidentified homeless man is fighting for his life after his face was nearly eaten off by a naked attacker Saturday on a downtown highway ramp in Miami.
The attacker has been identified as Rudy Eugene, a 31-year-old homeless man. Some are speculating that he may have been high on LSD.
“He was ripping into his face with his teeth,” said Miami resident Larry Vega, who witnessed the attack. “He was ripping his skin, his neck. He had him held down. The guy couldn’t move really, and he was just tearing into his flesh. … You see these things in the movies, but when you see it up front and up close, it’s pretty traumatic. It really is.”
When a police officer approached and told Eugene to get off his victim, Eugene just kept chewing. “The guy just stood… with pieces of flesh in his mouth and he growled,” Vega said.
The officer then shot and killed Eugene.
As for the unfortunate victim, “much of his face was gone, the skin ripped away, the nose bitten and the eyes gouged,” according to the Miami Herald. He is in critical condition.
“We’re hoping that he pulls through, for his well-being, but also so he can tell us what happened,” said Sgt. Javier Ortiz, of the Miami police union. “Only he knows.”
[nydn]
Right then, time to prepare for the apocalypse, people. Looks like it’s going to be zombies.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4slqusJ9M1qzpwi0o1_500.jpg)
In Case You Missed It of the Day: An unidentified homeless man is fighting for his life after his face was nearly eaten off by a naked attacker Saturday on a downtown highway ramp in Miami.
The attacker has been identified as Rudy Eugene, a 31-year-old homeless man. Some are speculating that he may have been high on LSD.
“He was ripping into his face with his teeth,” said Miami resident Larry Vega, who witnessed the attack. “He was ripping his skin, his neck. He had him held down. The guy couldn’t move really, and he was just tearing into his flesh. … You see these things in the movies, but when you see it up front and up close, it’s pretty traumatic. It really is.”
When a police officer approached and told Eugene to get off his victim, Eugene just kept chewing. “The guy just stood… with pieces of flesh in his mouth and he growled,” Vega said.
The officer then shot and killed Eugene.
As for the unfortunate victim, “much of his face was gone, the skin ripped away, the nose bitten and the eyes gouged,” according to the Miami Herald. He is in critical condition.
“We’re hoping that he pulls through, for his well-being, but also so he can tell us what happened,” said Sgt. Javier Ortiz, of the Miami police union. “Only he knows.”
[nydn]
Right then, time to prepare for the apocalypse, people. Looks like it’s going to be zombies.
my 12 year old stepson just handed me a literal wad of cash and said “buy yourself somethin nice”
it is like 400 dollars
where did he get it
what is
what
what
what
what
w h a t
compoundelevatedskullfracture:
The Spider-Man Guide to Unexpected Parenthood.
.
07:30
Bullet Points #1-5 | Marvel | 2007
What if…
Just one bullet changes the way of the Marvel Universe. (x)
The one where Steve Rogers is Iron Man, Peter Parker the Hulk, Reed Richards takes Nick Fury’s place and much more changes.
WISDOM TEETH ARE FUNNY BECAUSE OH MY GOD THESE ARE THE DUMBEST TEETH THERE ARE
ITS GROWING IN SIDEWAYS
HOW HIGH TO YOU HAVE TO Be
Not everyone got all four wisdom teeth, or any of them at all, because we have no need for them in our moderns society so they’re disappearing. Well, then there’s me, caveman Jennie with all four wisdom teeth.
