BALDUR IS ONE OF THE FEW NICE GUYS OF NORSE MYTHOLOGY, SO WHEN THIS CUTIE STARTED GETTING BAD DREAMS ABOUT HIS DEATH, HIS DADDY ODIN WENT TO FIND OUT WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON.
SOME TRIPPY-ASS PROPHET TOLD HIM THAT BALDUR WOULD BE KILLED BY HIS BROTHER HODR WITH SOME FUCKING TWIG. BALDUR’S MUMMY FRIGGA WAS FUCKING ANGRY ABOUT THIS SHIT SO SHE MADE EVERY SINGLE THING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING NINE WORLDS PROMISE NOT TO HURT CUTE LIL BALDUR.
THE GODS THEN FUCKING THREW STONES AND SHIT AT BALDUR TO TEST WHETHER HE WOULD BE SAFE. HE WAS FUCKING FINE, STONES KEEP THEIR PROMISES. THIS PISSED OFF LOKI BECAUSE HE WANTED MORE SHIT TO BE HITTING THE FAN. SO HE GOT FRIGGA TO ADMIT THAT SHE FORGOT TO MAKE ONE LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT PROMISE TO NOT HURT BALDUR; FUCKING MISTLETOE.
NATURALLY LOKI WENT AND BOUGHT A SHIT TONNE OF MISTLETOE, AND WENT BACK TO WHERE ALL THE GODS WERE RANDOMLY CHUCKING THINGS AT BALDUR. PRETENDING TO BE A FUCKING REASONABLE GUY AND HELPING A BLIND DUDE ENJOY THE FUN, LOKI HANDED SOME MISTLETOE TO THE BLIND GOD HODR, AND HELPED HIM AIM.
HODR THREW THE MISTLETOE RIGHT AT BALDUR AND IT WENT STRAIGHT FUCKING THROUGH HIM, AND HE DIED. IT WAS SUPER FUCKING AWKWARD. DON’T WORRY THOUGH, BALDUR IS SUPPOSED TO RETURN SOMEDAY BEFORE THE END OF THE WORLD, BUT IN THE MEAN TIME, DON’T FUCK AROUND WITH MISTLETOE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON: THAT SHIT IS DANGEROUS.
snow snow snow more pls never stop snowing
just imagine this is actually Daspletosaurus or something
I’m doing an online course on women’s history and one of the reason for that women should not work during the 1800-1900 was that they thought the female reproductive systems competed for energy with the brain and women should therefor keep away from intellectual stimulating activities.
If the survivor2299 site turns out to be about fallout 4, I wonder if morse code is going to play a part in the actual game
has anyone ever stopped to think about what ridiculous animals goats are
WHAT THE FUCK
HOW DID YOU EVEN GET UP THERE
ARE THESE ANIMALS EVEN REAL
????? ?? ? ???????//
SOMEONE FUCKING EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO ME
Goddamn, I dreamed I was this dude that was going to marry this mafia boss’ daughter, and she insisted I’d try on her grandmother’s turquoise 1950’s dress, as a wedding dress, and I did but her dad came into the room and everyone got really silent and dad looked really serious and then he told her to figure fit it and then he left and yep
Ah yes, I don’t think I’ve posted this yet.